January 2012

I know this post has little to do with our high needs baby; however, it was an overwhelming month for our family. On top of our baby being a handful, we had many other challenges and I thought I would share!

We had high hopes for the new year but January was rough on our little family. We are so thankful that things turned out well and we even had many blessings amongst our various trials. It all started with a sore throat. I was thoughtful enough to share this "super" bug with my husband. Clara had it too, but it's hard to say whether she had it first or if we passed it on. Anyhow, this lovely bug afflicted us with extreme sore throats for more than two weeks before it transformed itself into a nasty cold. My husband and I agreed that it was one of the worst sore throats we can remember having. In addition, my poor husband could not stop coughing and even lost his voice...always wonderful when you've just started a new job! Clara was a trooper through all of this and we're convinced that she did so well and recovered so quickly because she is breastfed.

Even the family dog, Riley, was sick. We noticed that he was sappy, not eating, and all-around lethargic. We decided we had better take him to the vet and good thing we did. Riley had doggie Meningitis! Our vet thinks that he got a splinter stuck in the roof of his mouth after chewing on a stick, which introduced bacteria into his spinal cord. Who knew the simple pleasure of your dog chewing on a stick could be so dangerous! I'm happy to report that Riley is doing great after an intensive course of antibiotics.

We were sick, the dog was sick, and our car decided to take a dive. Victoria, our Volkswagen, wouldn't start one afternoon. Besides all the hassle of getting it to our mechanic, it turned out to be a couple of oxygen  sensors...a pretty cheap fix versus the alternative diagnosis.

So now that everyone is on the mend, I can look back on January 2012 as a month of character building. We took some hits financially with our doctor, vet, and car repair bills. I'm glad that we are all feeling well and look forward to things getting back to normal in February!

B.C. (Before Clara), I had never heard of the term "high needs baby" and assumed that it referred to colic. I now know that babies will outgrow colic whereas high needs is often associated with temperament. These babies will in many cases grow up to be high needs children.

As a newborn, folks were quick to give advice about how to handle Clara. I was told that she needed to use a pacifier even though there was no way she would take one. This was not an option for her and she would not be easily fooled. I was also told to let her cry it out and she would eventually sooth herself to sleep. I knew my daughter too well, even at such a young age, she had no ability to self-sooth, this was a skill that she would have to learn. (At seven months those skills are yet to be developed!) Strangers would tell me that she must be in pain because she cries so much or that they were sure she had a hernia. My motherly instinct told me that she was perfectly healthy but I was still desperate for answers as to why she was such a particular baby. Comforting her was difficult and all I wanted was for her to feel safe, loved and happy.

In my quest for answers I found Dr. Sears' page on high needs children. He wrote a whole book dedicated to high needs babies based on his own experience with his high needs daughter. This book was as valuable as pure gold not only because of the helpful tips and advice it offered, but also because it helped me to realize that Clara's needs were not a result of my parenting style. In fact, I was spot on with my hands-on, attached-to-the-hips (and breasts) approach.


http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby