Clara Is In Her Crib!

I'm so happy to report that our little girl is now sleeping in her crib! My husband and I have wanted to make this transition for a couple of months now but Clara had different plans. She has had an adverse reaction to her crib since day one! Whenever we put her in the crib, she has been unhappy - crying and blowing sad raspberries! We have been working with her trying to make the crib a positive experience, but have seen little to no results. We've tried reserving her favorite toys to play with in the crib, playing her favorite music while she's in the crib (she loves Pat Benatar and Kenny Rogers - what a cool kiddo). I even made her a lovely butterfly mobile for Christmas but none of those seemed to produce desirable results.

I understand it is common for high needs babies to fight the crib and take longer to develop sleep patterns that fit with the family's schedule - so we've been patient with Clara. She has been sleeping next to our bed for the past seven months. She outgrew her bassinet at five months so we moved her to a pack-n-play, but she didn't seem to sleep as well and was waking up every two hours (sometimes more) for comfort. This has been going on for months and we were exhausted! We had tried a bunch of different strategies, but it was so hard for her to get to sleep and stay asleep. Her being a light sleeper didn't help as she would easily awaken if my husband or I rolled over or shifted positions in bed.

I knew she was ready for the transition and I remained positive that it was going to work out and be a huge leap forward for all of us. If it didn't work we could always go back to her sleeping next to us and try again in a month or so...so what was the harm in trying? I'm so glad we gave it a shot because it has actually worked! She is sleeping better and for longer stretches. She is still working on the self soothing but I know that will come with time. Clara will often awake 30 to 45 minutes after we get her to sleep so we have been giving her the opportunity to put herself back to sleep. It's so cute to watch her on the baby monitor. She'll start fussing and that will transition into her singing "ba, ba", "da, da", or "ma, ma". I really can't believe how well she's doing with the crib. We knew she was ready for her crib but we are still pleasantly surprised and so proud of our little girl!

January 2012

I know this post has little to do with our high needs baby; however, it was an overwhelming month for our family. On top of our baby being a handful, we had many other challenges and I thought I would share!

We had high hopes for the new year but January was rough on our little family. We are so thankful that things turned out well and we even had many blessings amongst our various trials. It all started with a sore throat. I was thoughtful enough to share this "super" bug with my husband. Clara had it too, but it's hard to say whether she had it first or if we passed it on. Anyhow, this lovely bug afflicted us with extreme sore throats for more than two weeks before it transformed itself into a nasty cold. My husband and I agreed that it was one of the worst sore throats we can remember having. In addition, my poor husband could not stop coughing and even lost his voice...always wonderful when you've just started a new job! Clara was a trooper through all of this and we're convinced that she did so well and recovered so quickly because she is breastfed.

Even the family dog, Riley, was sick. We noticed that he was sappy, not eating, and all-around lethargic. We decided we had better take him to the vet and good thing we did. Riley had doggie Meningitis! Our vet thinks that he got a splinter stuck in the roof of his mouth after chewing on a stick, which introduced bacteria into his spinal cord. Who knew the simple pleasure of your dog chewing on a stick could be so dangerous! I'm happy to report that Riley is doing great after an intensive course of antibiotics.

We were sick, the dog was sick, and our car decided to take a dive. Victoria, our Volkswagen, wouldn't start one afternoon. Besides all the hassle of getting it to our mechanic, it turned out to be a couple of oxygen  sensors...a pretty cheap fix versus the alternative diagnosis.

So now that everyone is on the mend, I can look back on January 2012 as a month of character building. We took some hits financially with our doctor, vet, and car repair bills. I'm glad that we are all feeling well and look forward to things getting back to normal in February!

B.C. (Before Clara), I had never heard of the term "high needs baby" and assumed that it referred to colic. I now know that babies will outgrow colic whereas high needs is often associated with temperament. These babies will in many cases grow up to be high needs children.

As a newborn, folks were quick to give advice about how to handle Clara. I was told that she needed to use a pacifier even though there was no way she would take one. This was not an option for her and she would not be easily fooled. I was also told to let her cry it out and she would eventually sooth herself to sleep. I knew my daughter too well, even at such a young age, she had no ability to self-sooth, this was a skill that she would have to learn. (At seven months those skills are yet to be developed!) Strangers would tell me that she must be in pain because she cries so much or that they were sure she had a hernia. My motherly instinct told me that she was perfectly healthy but I was still desperate for answers as to why she was such a particular baby. Comforting her was difficult and all I wanted was for her to feel safe, loved and happy.

In my quest for answers I found Dr. Sears' page on high needs children. He wrote a whole book dedicated to high needs babies based on his own experience with his high needs daughter. This book was as valuable as pure gold not only because of the helpful tips and advice it offered, but also because it helped me to realize that Clara's needs were not a result of my parenting style. In fact, I was spot on with my hands-on, attached-to-the-hips (and breasts) approach.


http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby

Let the Journey Begin...

Clara was the most alert newborn I had ever seen! She had these huge eyes and even in her first few days of life, they never closed. It was apparent from the very beginning that Clara was a high needs baby. I had never even heard the terms "high needs" or "highly sensitive" before, but what I did know was that my baby was nothing like the other babies I knew. My husband and I anticipated our lives would change drastically with the arrival of our bundle of joy but yet we were not prepared for this special little lady. As a newborn, Clara rarely slept! A couple of short catnaps was all she needed (too bad that's not all I needed). Her sleep was, and still is, very light. She would awaken easily at the slightest noise, even when I would tiptoe past her. This was very confusing to me as I was lead to believe that newborns slept a lot and it was customary to snuggle up to them and drift off yourself. My saving grace was that she did sleep well at night for the first few month...things went downhill after that.

I think that every single person who met Clara commented on how alert she was. She was tuned into the world around her and was not about to miss out on the excitement. We also found out very quickly that Clara was particular! She knew what she did and didn't like and she wasn't afraid to let us know exactly how she felt. Displeasure was met with intense cries. Did I mention that she had the loudest cry in the hospital nursery? Her lungs are healthy and we're convinced that she will sing Opera one day.

It took my husband and I awhile to understand the mystery of the high needs baby. We have come a long way and day-by-day we are learning how to care for and nurture this special girl. Clara is indeed one of a kind and we wouldn't have her any other way. So this is just the beginning of our journey...the chronicles are yet to come.